Things we have learned this week

• George W Bush can't paint     
  

Putin by G.W Bush - in case you couldn't tell!

• E-cigarettes are just another method of getting people addicted to nicotine

  

  hmmm very attractive

  

  Hookah smoking caterpillar notwithstanding

• Princess Anne thinks gassing badgers is humane and that if we ate horse flesh it might raise the care of the animal by a nation of so called animal lovers by 'adding value'!
  
• The 'person' who killed Milly Dowler as part of his serial killing has been awarded £4,500 for being attacked in prison and receiving minor injuries. A Ministry for Justice spokesman said: “We are hugely disappointed that Levi Bellfield was awarded £4,500 by a judge following an assault by a prisoner in 2009 at HMP Wakefield.”
  
  Only in Britain

  

  Michael Gove loses his pipe

• Would someone write a excoriating poem about Michael Gove and it go viral                              'Dear Mr Gove' by Jess Green

•  I rarely find myself agreeing with Janet Street-Porter and her headline to her column Saturday musing that maybe e-cigarettes are as addictive as real ones, duh! They are two forms of delivering the addictive poison nicotine so it seems a no brainer to this born again non-smoker!
  But she outshone herself in her column highlighting that toddlers could teach adults a thing or two! The are ten benchmarks for little ones attending primary school . . . . . . . . .  
  

                  Advice for toddlers that adults could benefit from

  Ofsted has issued a list of 10 skills children need before they start at primary school, including toilet training, the ability to know their own name, and to understand the word “stop” and that it might be used to prevent harm. They must also be able to open a book and enjoy it, understand the use of the word “no”, to be able to sit still and listen, and be aware of other children.
  
  Some early-years experts have sneered, saying it’s more important for kids to be able to express themselves creatively than know their own name or how to use a toilet. I couldn’t disagree more. We are now reaping the fallout from parents not implementing enough rules to discipline their offspring. MP Rory Stewart hit a nerve recently when he complained that too many parents “worship” their children, treating them as equals and making them the focus of attention.
  
  The real problem is that after a certain hour in cities and towns all over the UK, you see a large number of adults who can’t recognise their own name, can’t use the toilet, don’t know the meaning of the word “no” and certainly can’t put their coats and shoes on. Perhaps Sir Michael Wilshaw’s Ofsted list could be laminated and fixed to the door of every pub serving cheap booze. If you fail more than four out of the 10 toddler rules, you’re banned.   Janet Street-Porter

•  Depressing media truth of the day in a literary review news page in the Guardian there are more column inches given to MP and 'I'm a Celebrity' 'star' Nadine Dorries' first offering of a 'saga' novel set in Liverpool outdoes by two to one for Kazuo Ishiguro's first book in ten years             

• There is sand from the Saharan desert covering everything, why it's all over the place, blown here on the wind, it has caused filth on cars and a smog haze that can actually be seen- apparently it's on it's way to reach Florida soon!?!?
  
  
• Some bright spark has decided to turn Dylan Thomas' Under a Milk Wood into an opera. This strikes me as a really bad idea. It was already a work of art why fuss about turning it onto some ghastly imitation . . . . .with music and squawking singing!? Mind you I thought that of almost every Broadway hit from Rice and the truly dreadful talentless Andrew Lloyd-Weber dreck. I mean 'Les Mis'? Author Victor Hugo still spinning faster than a Hadron collider . . . . . .
  
                  I guess I need to include T.S.Eliot and whoever wrote the Bible too?!          
  
                             
  Time travel?
• A thief has been charged with stealing a Penny Farthing bicycle on Christmas Day                                                         
• Weirdness prevailing
• Some cheese factory workers in Russia have been caught bathing in the milk vats