portrait of this blog's author - by Stephen Blackman 2008

Tuesday, October 20, 2020

 RANDOM WEIRDNESS OF THE DAY . . . . . . ANTHROPOMORPHISM!

Polar Bear by Anatoly Kochnev

There seems to be loads of anthropomorphism on the internet and social media in particular which drives me nuts. You've seen your David Attenborough programmes, nature is red in tooth and claw and many things are not cute and cuddly (bears etc) so here's my thoughts upon this shot which someone had posted and said how cute it was . . . . . . . . . . . this is not a dig at the photographer you understand something tells me he knew this when taking the shot . . . . . . it's a BEAR!


  • Let’s be clear this is not ‘unbearably’ cute (sorry, not sorry!)

  • It’s a polar bear and the top of the food chain where you are right now

  • It is hunting YOU!

  • You are food

  • It is thinking ‘Yeah, I could eat!’

  • It could smell you from miles away (possibly 25miles) and has come to explore the possibility of eating you

  • It is more than a possibility 

  • Essentially you stink and have attracted a bear

  • It could totally eviscerate you with one blow, with one paw

  • It would then eat you, starting with your softest parts (think about THAT for a moment)

  • It wouldn’t care whether you were dead or not, it does not have table manners, it would start without you.

  • It has found you in a cabin. Essentially you are a packed lunch. Food in a box

  • It is now trying to work out how to get in at the juicy stuff

  • It won’t stop

  • As I say, it’s a hunter

  • It is between 8 and nearly 10 feet tall stood on its hind legs On all fours it is five foot high at the shoulder!

  • It can run in bursts of up to 25mph - you can’t (your average jogging speed is under 10mph and with a bear behind you you might reach bursts of 20mph but not for long)

  • It’s hunting

  • It’s hunting you.

  • You better hope you can make a loud noise to scare it off. Say with a stick or firecracker. Preferably a stick that can fire bullets, that would help.

  • Good luck!





No comments: