"The story of Daniel Johnston, arguably the patron saint of outsider music, shouldn’t make me this uncomfortable.
It should be inspiring. An immensely talented musician who, despite his demons and severe problems with his mental health, managed to become an inspiration to millions through his (ugh) “child-like”, “innocent” and “pure” music. He’s hailed as the ultimate outsider. A genuine auteur who supposedly shows that music really is a safe space for everyone, regardless of what you’re going through. That everyone’s perspective is valuable and should be cherished.
Speaking as someone who’s struggled with their mental health their entire life, I should look up to Daniel Johnston. I should feel hope when people rhapsodise over his music. I should feel that people accept people like me, despite the fact that my mental health problems are nowhere near as severe as the ones that Johnston faced. Dear reader, I don’t. I never have. At best, I feel patronised. Something I may have given away earlier in the article.
At worst, the whole thing makes me feel sick to my stomach. My issue speaks to a broader disgust I have with the idea that neurodivergence and mental health issues are “super-powers” or merely “unique ways of seeing the world”. Nah, sorry. Some of us may be lucky enough to mask what we go through, but to most, they’re disabilities that we need help with. You might think you’re being kind when you talk like that, but you’re not. In fact, quite the opposite.
The story of Daniel Johnston is a perfect example of this. His music and his mental health go hand in hand in the eyes of the public. With people attributing his songwriting ability and musicianship to his mental state, and not the fact that he was a phenomenally talented man who basically never stopped writing songs. I use the word “man” there on purpose as well. His mental state often saw people reduce him to nothing more than a child, which Johnson himself famously hated.
I’m not the only person to spot this either. Even a friend of Johnston, Gretchen Phillips, told the music historian Irwin Chusid, “I wonder if people go see him hoping to witness a nervous breakdown. Do they perceive him as their equal, or as someone they need to coax along and feel safe? As much as the audience may genuinely love his songs, I sense a lot of condescension. That’s always bugged me.” Not only does this attitude mean that his achievements as a songwriter get overlooked, but also his flaws, too.
His mental health problems were so severe that they made it basically impossible for him to live independently. I hate the fact that the manic, schizophrenic episodes he endured (often brought on by his near-constant habit of throwing away his medication), are treated as kooky stories and not the signs that the attention he was getting for his music was having a profoundly negative impact on his mental state. People focus on the fact that he had a psychotic episode on a plane and became convinced he was Casper the Friendly Ghost, and not the fact that he then nearly killed himself and his father by crashing the plane.
The life of Johnston is filled with episodes like this, where he loses control and threatens the lives of those close to him. Which is to say nothing of the way that his manic episodes made him literally stalk the woman that inspired the majority of his music for years. I can’t stress enough that his experiences aren’t close to mine, but they’re not a million miles away from those of people that I’ve known and loved. Those people I know don’t get the help they need because people hate and fear the mentally ill.
The love that Daniel Johnston inspires with his music might seem to stand in opposition to that, but instead, it’s simply the other, more insidious side of the coin. He still didn’t get the help he needed, but out of a misguided sense that his demons were the reason his music was so good, and not an impenetrable barrier to his talents.
Daniel Johnston was a great musician despite his mental health, not because of it. Who knows what could have happened had he got the help he needed."
