FRANK! BEING . . . WELL, FRANK

Not always been the greatest Zappa fan but adored him for his support (discovery?) of Captain Beefheart, his workshops discovering great musicians his own undoubted mastery and virtuosity of the guitar but his arrogance at times rankled. His again undoubted ability to question authority and things worthy of suspicion  None of us can be THAT smug if we smoke the dreaded nicotine weed tobacco . . . . . will forgive most things because of Bongo Fury, Hot Rats and aiding Trout Mask Replica

Scientology, how about that? You hold on to the tin cans and then this guy asks you a bunch of questions, and if you pay enough money you get to join the master race. How's that for a religion?

-- Frank Zappa, to a concert audience at the Rockpile, Toronto, May 1969

My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can.

-- Frank Zappa

The other factor that people forget about the southern region is the amount of intermarriage that has already occurred there, and so there are certain genetic defects come to the fore when you have a large intermarriage population. That means regression.... And in fact Utah is another state, which is basically owned by the Mormon church, which also has a lot of intermarriage. And because this type of intermarriage there is a large proportion of blind people in Utah. That's why when you go across the street, instead of just a stop light that you can see, they have stop lights that make a cuckoo noise to tell you when to cross the street -- that's true!

-- Frank Zappa, Arf Society interview, quoted from The Way I See It, Barry

The whole foundation of Christianity is based on the idea that intellectualism is the work of the Devil. Remember the apple on the tree? Okay, it was the Tree of Knowledge. "You eat this apple, you're going to be as smart as God. We can't have that."

-- Frank Zappa