My children worry about me and here's why . . . . . . . . . Bear with me, I have a new hobby . . . . .
I asked if their company subscribed to the Telephone Preference Service which she said not which I informed her was illegal. She said no it isn’t because they were a part of the TPS and to improve their service they needed some info from me as to verify I am who I say I am and I said well I am Mr Swapp’s butler will that do? She said so and that the reason they were calling was to prevent international nuisance calls to which I said I wasn’t getting any. She then went on to verify my ‘masters’ details and went through my exact address and asked repeatedly for my name to which I said I was my own butler but was authorised to answer questions on my behalf. I stated that the address she had was correct (this slightly alarmed me but it is on the electoral roll so settled in for a while to see how long I could keep it going). She then asked for the verification code on my masters debit card was and I said my employer doesn’t have any, “several American Express (Platinum), Gold Visa, Silver Co-op multiple credit cards and several bank cards she asked if ‘he’ had one from HSBC so I said yes them and Lloyds, Midland (sic) Scottish Widows”, etc etc so she said could I read the number on my masters HSBC card above the name but not the account number. I said it doesn’t have one above the name and she said it should start 0206 (falsified) and so I said yes, she then repeatedly asked me to say out loud the rest of the number and I strung her along for over twenty minutes giving her random wrong numbers REALLY SLOWLY . . . . . . fourrrrrr . . . . . . . . . . . . .threeeeeeee . . . . . . . .and then claiming either it didn’t have one or the number was wrong. I switched card names several time saying the wrong one just to piss her off.
After twenty minutes I got fed up so said if she though I was going to read out any number from my employees cards, the sort code or bank number (she asked for my master’s chequebook at one point and I said what’s one of those?) but that I would not give ANY number over the phone then she must be mad and why did she need me to do that if it was just about verifying I am who I say I am then I am clearly not the person on the card and she said she was going to hand over to her supervisor and a “Kevin” [love this Western names they are all suddenly using] came on the line and started from the beginning and I said “Hi Kevin how are you?” and he said ‘How are You today sir” So I said well actually I have a back condition and it has been bothering me but the worst thing was that I was being forced to take early retirement as |I had some weird condition which the hospitals and the medical profession where confused by but it was something to do with my having been bitten by a spider several years ago and what with privatisation of the Health Service I now had no money. He interrupted me and explained he was ringing to upgrade by Telephone Preference Service and he needed to ask me some questions first to verify who I was and I said you know I am just the butler here right and whilst I can answer questions on Mr Swapp’s behalf what did his numerous bank accounts and gold or platinum credit card numbers have to do with withholding nuisance calls like this one? Bit lost on him this, I’m afraid! I explained we don’t need to expand the service of TPS to include international nuisance calls as I wasn’t getting any. “You know apart from THIS ONE!”
I started to pretend to get cross and asked to speak to his supervisor and he said he was the supervisor so I said no YOUR supervisor, which really confused the poor dear and asked repeatedly for his line manager. I then asked where he was calling from and he disclosed W1W London and I said whereabouts and he said W1W so I asked for the company details and he said the company was DMA House >>Correct address for TPS removed<< to which I said FF? he said no SS I asked again can you spell that is it like F for Fascist? He said S for Sugar so I said what like SS for Schutzstaffel and he seemed confused so I said what like S for Spoof? or S for Spam? to which he agreed.
Meanwhile I looked them up and realised there was such a company but that hadn’t been who they said they were so quizzed him about this falsification and kept him going for another twenty minutes or so. I asked him what area in London he was calling from and he said repeatedly Wetc 8SS and I said no that’s the post code, what area? and he said 70 so 'n'so St and I said no that’s the street name and number, try again and I said what area you know like Hounslow, or Whitechapel what area did they all work in and he kept repeating W1W and I said no that’s the postcode why don’t you look it up and he said ‘I don’t need to’ and I said ‘I think you do because you don’t even know where you are!’ Eventually he said ‘Fitzrovia’ and I congratulated him on his ability to look it up on Google which was exactly what I had just done!! and I told him that he had won a prize and that was that, that I was going to report the DMA of >>Correct address for TPS removed<< o the Telephone Preference Service because he was not from TPS and he was from the some other SpamBot Association and would be hearing from my masters lawyers within the next few days and suddenly at ten past 3 he hung up!
Tip: Don’t hassle Mr Swapp’s butler when it’s hot!
I win! Oh, my bad!?
P.S. I am a big believer win the TPS and checked and was somewhat surprised to see they had indeed suede the correct address for them in this SCAM which annoyed me - do you rally think I wouldn't check?! The site is useful and does work and I have been registered with them for ages and always ask cold callers if they are registered and it will usually out them off. This one was the exception as they pretended to BE the TPS or the management team thereof and for info the TPS does NOT ask for credit card, bank account details or any financial info from it's registered clients and registering is STILL free!
Register with the Telephone Preference Service here
No comments:
Post a Comment