portrait of this blog's author - by Stephen Blackman 2008

Friday, September 06, 2019

CLAWZ MOON LEE

February 6 1969 - August 21 2019


"I came here. I loved here.
I loved people,
People loved me…
I shared experiences,
How wonderful, 
how lucky."

Clawz Moon Lee


Clawz July 2018

As friends and family and loved ones prepare to send off Clawz's ashes, swimming with her into the ocean scattering her way with flowers off the coast of her beloved Hawaii, in the early hours of Saturday morning here and celebrate her life on Waimanalo Beach there with food and love and gathering for all of us throughout the planet who's lives she touched. I wanted to say something here as to what she meant to me. 

When I first went to get a job at Lucy Faithful House (a 62 bed homeless hostel in central town) I was met by this extraordinary strikingly beautiful woman who bounded up and leaped onto the 'jump' (the front reception desk) and breezily, if a tad wary, said 'What can I do for you?' I explained I had come for interview and, with a wry smile, she buzzed the security door and beckoned me through. We worked together there as part of the team for a relatively short but intense time before she decided she needed to go home to return to her island roots. 
In the time we worked together we talked about art, tattoos, Hawaiian culture, photography, politics, relationships and life in general. We did a photo project off our own bats featuring the hands of the homeless clients we worked with having discussed portraiture and how the hands say so much about a person. I don't think she trusted others easily, the opposite sex in particular, as she told me so but I like to think we became friends. We clicked, I like to think. She did that a lot with people! 


 some of my contribution to the 'Hands' project

Though we didn't always agree! I struggled with the idea of tattooing and still do. So we discussed idea of the corporeal and the temporal nature of the body and its skin. We discussed the idea of 'gilding the lily' which is still my standpoint but we enjoyed disagreeing. She laughed at me,  . . .a lot! I learned a great deal from her and not least about the extraordinary beauty of much Hawaiian culture. She was especially kind to me and sensitive when I took the call at work telling me my mother had died and I shall never forget her for that. By the time I came back to work she had gone home . . . . . . . 

I shall miss her and know we are all the poorer in her leaving us. Many found her intimidating and she could hold you with her gaze taking the measure of you, weighing you up as she looked unflinching, yet if you were honest and kind, gentle and true she proved an unerringly faithful friend 




I am indebted to Karla Silva-Park for posting this from Clawz on her Facebook page from where I
got this and the images used here but this piece of writing shows us some extraordinary insight as to quite what an amazing woman she was

" Death does not have to be negative, it is a natural process of life. It is our refusal and disapproval which makes this reality painful. Of course it’s sad, it can be heartbreaking, we will miss those we love and care about. When did we decide that sadness is bad? Is it? It’s just an emotion. One that also extracts gratitude out of a situation like the juice of a fruit. The sweet nectar of sadness is a deep sense of gratitude. Inside of all the sad conversation, the weighted reality of my death sentence, are the juicy bits of love and thankfullness." 
Clawz Moon Lee
I found this incredibly moving and still do


Necklace by Clawz
I always appreciated her artwork and constructions of found objects (we shared an interest in artists who used found objects like Kurt Schwitters and Joseph Cornell and all the great assemblage artists). I think she excelled at it as she did in her photography and her attunement to her clients wishes and desires when tattooing them. 


For Clawz

A powerful Hawaiian prayer


Have you heard of Ho’oponopono and the Hawaiian shamanistic therapist, Dr Hew Len, who is said to have cured an entire ward of criminally insane patients, without ever meeting any of them or spending a moment in the same room? It’s not a joke. Clawz introduced me to this notion and we discussed it in some depth and I listened in wonder. I am not a religious man and yet I like to think of this 'prayer' or meditation if you prefer, at this time. It is aligned with positive visualisation and rather like Rogers' Unconditional Positive Regard'  if you carry it with you, central to all that you undertake, in the very core of you, the notion is that the outcome will always be positive. I like to believe that is true . . . . . . . . 

The four stages of Ho’oponopono

  • Step 1: Repentance – I'M SORRY. ...
  • Step 2: Ask Forgiveness – PLEASE FORGIVE ME. ...
  • Step 3: Gratitude – THANK YOU. ...
  • Step 4: Love – I LOVE YOU.

What is Ho’oponopono?


On the surface level, many people have understood Ho’oponopono to be a mantra where one repeats the words ‘I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you’ as a form of mental and spiritual cleaning that could be compared to Buddhist techniques for clearing karma. It has been defined as a forgiveness and reconciliation practice, cleansing of ‘errors of thought’–the origin of problems and sickness in the physical world, according to the Hawaiian worldview. The literal translation is ‘to put to right; to put in order or shape, correct, revise, adjust, amend, regulate, arrange, rectify, tidy up, make orderly or neat.”

I'm Sorry
Please Forgive me
Thank you
I love you

carry those thoughts with you . . . . . . .I know I will continue to try


2 comments:

Unknown said...

Aloha Andy, I came across your blog post about Clawz for the first time today (ironically as I googled myself which I rarely do but did today for work). Wow. You have captured Clawz so beautifully here. Your memories of her made me cry and then smile. I am one of her many canvases over the years of her tattooing and have multiple pieces from her that I absolutely cherish. I am forever grateful she is literally always with me. Mahalo for sharing this writing-it has been a couple years yet her passing still feels very fresh (she and I share our birthday and it was always a race to see who would text the other first). Mahalo, mahalo, mahalo for bringing her into my day today.

Andy Swapp said...

So kind and I am deeply appreciative of your posting your comments here today. That means a lot to me. I miss her! So proud to say she was a friend of mine . . . . . . .mahalo x